by Mira Brancu, PhD

You know how a toxic employee can drag down the whole team (and sometimes beyond)? Sometimes, that means you, the leader, as well. But as the leader, you have a responsibility to serve as a role model and safe haven for your team: to protect them and yourself.

The good news is that there are ways you can do that.

One of these ways is through your own self-awareness: you need to know where you stop and someone else starts.

In other words, when you have a clear understanding of your own strengths, weaknesses, and risk factors for adding to the problem, you will know why a problematic interaction is happening and what options you have to intervene. Are the one making it worse? Or is this really about the other person and has very little to do with your management of the situation?

What character traits and risk factors could make a situation worse?

We’ve all experienced those bad conversations where we somehow tried to fix it but only made it worse. Sometimes we know exactly how we contributed, other times we leave a bit bewildered.

The more we take the time to analyze these patterns and understand them, the better we can be at conflict resolution. This skill is especially important as a leader.

Below are some traits, pulled out from the CDR-3D assessment, that could make a conflict worse.

• Pleaser – On the CDR-3D, this is one of the Risk Factors. Having a desire to please others isn’t always a bad thing, but with certain people, it can lead to unhealthy patterns of being taken advantage by people who want to take away your power.

• Uneven temper  – On the CDR-3D, this is one of the Character Traits. Wearing your heart on your sleeve can help others understand quickly how you feel instead of having to interpret; however, it also holds you back from keeping your cool which could be used against you.

• Recognition – On the CDR-3D, this is one of the Drivers and Rewards. Everyone is driven by different types of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards that keep them motivated. Like other characteristics, though, you always have to worry about too much of a good thing. In this case, when you become too concerned with how others might view you, you may be giving away too much of your power to someone else.

I bet just from these three examples, you are starting to see some patterns. Toxic people often enjoy taking power away from leaders. And traits like the above may make it easier for to do so.

Here is a great article on toxic behavior for those who may not be sure if they are dealing with it.

However even if it doesn’t quite rise to the level of being “toxic,” unhealthy work relationships can still cause a significant drain on personal resources. And a drain on personal resources can affect even those of us with the best coping mechanisms.

How to apply self-awareness to managing toxic employees

Knowing these things about yourself can help you identify when you are getting entangled in bad patterns that make you feel frustrated, angry, and less than your ideal self as a manager.

Once you identify these patterns, the next step is to make a plan and practice applying new skills to minimize becoming entangled, losing your temper, or making unintended decisions you will later regret.

…. To read the rest of the article, check it out here where it was originally published on the CDR Assessment Group’s blog page.